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It\u2019s full-on winter surf season right here in Northern California, and already, the under state of affairs has occurred this 12 months. It occurs yearly, the primary really scary second within the surf. As I used to be virtually soiling my wetsuit praying my just lately surgically repaired shoulder would maintain by way of the approaching violence, this essay popped into my head and I chuckled a bit of, proper as a wave\u2019s lip as thick as a Chevy Silverado exploded proper on prime of my head. \u2013 Ed. <\/em><\/p>\n At first, there\u2019s a horrifying sense of disbelief. This can\u2019t be occurring, I feel to myself as a large wave rises up from deep water to fill the horizon with a darkish wall of water looming with gloom and menace. Sure, I\u2019m within the ocean on a day when uncomfortably massive waves are breaking, and I put myself right here on function, however this wave\u2014this is just too a lot. 30 years of browsing has not ready me for a wave like this. It\u2019s an affront, actually. How dare the ocean put me on this scary place. I\u2019d be pissed if I wasn\u2019t surging with adrenaline. Actually, being pissed helps as a result of it staves off the panic.<\/p>\n Next, a fast plan of motion.<\/p>\n I can virtually rely the strokes it’ll take to paddle shut sufficient to this watery guillotine speeding towards me so I can dive beneath it. If I can simply attain the pocket of calm on the trough of the wave because it gathers itself to full top and begins to pitch its lip ahead, I can cross under, unmolested (ish), using a bit of conveyer belt of water pulling by way of the underside of the wave, rising to the floor simply behind it, secure from the whole fury the breaking lip is unleashing simply shoreward.<\/p>\n If there is usually a shared smile, fun, in that temporary second of eye contact, the concern evaporates. What\u2019s there to be afraid of anyway?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n But I can\u2019t attain that pocket. Not this time.<\/p>\n I\u2019m going to put on this wave proper on the pinnacle. I\u2019m going to attempt to dive beneath it, however the lip will punch down by way of the floor like a wall of bricks, discover me frantically kicking away from it, seize me in its inescapable fist prefer it\u2019s a rattling tractor beam proper out of Star Wars, after which shake and thrash me like a canine tearing aside a ragdoll.<\/p>\n If the water\u2019s sufficiently deep, I do know, I\u2019ll flip and twist seemingly for minutes, as if in a large, psychotic washer, no thought of which means is up or down, limbs twisted and torqued\u2014is that my heel kicking my head?\u2014on the mercy of an uncaring sea.<\/p>\n If the wave is breaking in shallow water, it’ll attempt to erase my existence by smearing my physique right into a pulp on the sandbar, or worse, sharp reef, under.<\/p>\n I\u2019m pondering of all of this, weighing my odds, as I\u2019m frantically clawing on the water, begging the ocean, god, something actually, to let me attain the wave earlier than all hell breaks unfastened, and one of many above doomsday eventualities involves fruition.<\/p>\n But then, all the time, that flash of braveness. You\u2019ve been right here earlier than. An infinite variety of instances. There may be a whimper that tries to bubble to the floor, however: no, not immediately. Instead, an excited hoot, meant to remind me that is all enjoyable, isn\u2019t it? Maybe catch the frantic, crazed-animal eye of the paddler subsequent to me, taking part in out his or her personal sport of what if. If there is usually a shared smile, fun, in that temporary second of eye contact, the concern evaporates. What\u2019s there to be afraid of anyway?<\/p>\n Mercifully, all ideas stop when the wave lastly arrives with the explosive energy of a derailed freight prepare. There are not any extra actions to take, aside from to stay calm, let it occur. To let it cross. No extra what-if eventualities to run by way of the thoughts. A zen-like state of acceptance. A marveling, maybe, on the superior energy of the ocean.<\/p>\n Then, as rapidly because it started, the grip lessens, and there’s peace. That wasn\u2019t so unhealthy. Gather the board, be sure that it\u2019s in a single piece.<\/p>\n Then do it once more.<\/p>\n\n