Alright, listen up, my well-meaning but sartorially-challenged amigos. John Garavelas here for\u00a0HopTraveler.com<\/a>,\u00a0coming at you live from a caf\u00e9 where I\u2019m probably still sticking out a little, but at least I\u2019m not wearing a fanny pack. Today\u2019s lesson: How to Not Look Like a American Tourist in Europe. And by \u201ctourist,\u201d I mean the kind that screams \u201cI JUST SAW THE EIFFEL TOWER AND MY CAPRIS ARE CHAFING\u201d from a hundred yards away.<\/p>\n First off, let’s get one thing straight. I\u2019m not a Vogue expert. My idea of high fashion is socks that\u00a0almost<\/em>\u00a0match. This isn\u2019t about morphing into a Milanese supermodel. There is no single \u201cEuropean look.\u201d They wear clothes over there, just like us! Shocking, I know. From goths in Berlin to beach bums in Barcelona, the spectrum is wide.<\/p>\n The real goal here is simple: blend in enough that the guy trying to sell you a selfie stick in Rome assumes you’re just a peculiarly quiet local and moves on to easier prey. We\u2019re aiming for \u201cgeneric European,\u201d which is basically the human equivalent of beige wallpaper. Glamorous? No. Effective? Absolutely.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s start with the big no-nos. The cardinal sins. The outfits that make European pigeons target you specifically.<\/p>\n The Full Gym Rat:<\/strong>\u00a0If you\u2019re head-to-toe in athletic gear\u2014think mesh shorts, sweat-wicking tee, and full-on running shoes\u2014you might as well just have a star-spangled banner trailing behind you. Europeans wear athletic stuff, but they\u2019re usually, you know,\u00a0going to the gym<\/em>. Not touring the Louvre.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Clown Shoes:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, you can wear sneakers. PLEASE wear sneakers. Your feet will thank me after 12 miles of cobblestone. But leave the neon-pink, extra-air-cushioned, moon-landing-style trainers at home. Opt for something a little more subdued. A classic Adidas, a sleek New Balance, something that says \u201cI have taste\u201d and not \u201cI\u2019m prepared for a spontaneous marathon.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Public Flip-Flop:<\/strong>\u00a0Just\u2026 no. Unless you are physically on sand, with water lapping at your toes, your flip-flops are judging you for your life choices. They are for the beach and the hostel shower. That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Cargo Shorts Caper:<\/strong>\u00a0Europeans do wear shorts, especially when it’s hotter than Hades. But the khaki cargo short, with enough pockets to hide a small family, is the official uniform of the American Dad Abroad. You will be spotted. You will be judged.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Comfortable Mistake:<\/strong>\u00a0Sweatpants. In public. For fun. Don\u2019t do it. You\u2019ll see a local wearing them exactly never, unless they\u2019re taking the trash out at 7am.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Fanboy Flag:<\/strong>\u00a0That Yankees cap? That \u201cBOSTON STRONG\u201d t-shirt? That jacket from your local brewery? It\u2019s a beacon. It screams \u201cHELLO! I AM NOT FROM HERE! MY WALLET IS IN MY BACKPOCKET!\u201d Save it for the couch back home.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n AND FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, DON\u2019T OVERDO IT.<\/strong>\u00a0Some people hear “Europeans dress well” and show up looking like they’re about to accept an Oscar. You’ll just look like a clueless, wealthy tourist, which is basically a flashing “ROB ME” sign for pickpockets.<\/p>\n Relax. Nobody over there is losing sleep over your outfit. The key is to be comfortable without looking like you gave up on life.<\/p>\n Kicks are Key:<\/strong>\u00a0Get yourself one good pair of cool, comfortable sneakers. This is 80% of the battle. See my list of the best travel shoes for men if you need ideas. (Spoiler: It\u2019s mostly just pictures of me buying shoes).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Embrace the Fit:<\/strong>\u00a0This isn\u2019t about being skinny, it\u2019s about clothes that actually fit. A simple t-shirt and jeans can look sharp if they\u2019re not baggy enough to house a family of raccoons.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Think Neutral, Think Dark:<\/strong>\u00a0You can\u2019t go wrong with black, grey, navy, olive. They hide wine stains, they don\u2019t show wrinkles, and they all match each other. It\u2019s the lazy person\u2019s guide to looking put-together.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n The Magical Button-Up:<\/strong>\u00a0A casual button-up shirt is the Swiss Army knife of travel fashion. Dress it down with jeans, dress it up for a nice dinner. It\u2019s just a t-shirt that\u2019s trying a little harder.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Layer Like an Onion:<\/strong>\u00a0A denim jacket or a simple chore coat over a tee instantly elevates you from “tourist” to “guy who might know a good spot for dinner.”<\/p>\n<\/li>\n A Watch:<\/strong>\u00a0Get a simple one. It tells time and makes you look like a grown-up who doesn\u2019t need to pull out his phone every two minutes.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Daytime:<\/strong>\u00a0COMFORT. IS. KING. You\u2019re walking 10 miles. Wear your good sneakers, comfortable pants, and a breathable shirt. You\u2019re surrounded by other tourists. Nobody cares.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Nighttime:<\/strong>\u00a0Just swap the t-shirt for that button-up I told you to pack. Dark jeans, your clean sneakers or minimalist leather shoes, and you\u2019re golden for 99% of places.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Check out sites like\u00a0Zara<\/strong>,\u00a0H&M<\/strong>, or\u00a0COS<\/strong>. They\u2019re everywhere in Europe and they\u2019re full of that simple, clean, beige-wallpaper aesthetic we\u2019re going for.<\/p>\n And remember, the goal isn’t to be the best-dressed guy in the room. The goal is to be the guy who doesn’t get pickpocketed because he looked like he knew where he was going.<\/p>\n Now get out there and blend in, you beautiful, clueless wallflowers.<\/p>\n Yours in style (or something like it), <\/p>\nWhat to Leave in Your Hotel Room (Or, Better Yet, America)<\/h3>\n
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So, What\u00a0Should<\/em>\u00a0You Wear? (It\u2019s Not Rocket Science)<\/h3>\n
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Day vs. Night: A Breakdown<\/h3>\n
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Need Inspiration?<\/h3>\n
\nJohn Garavelas
\nHopTraveler.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/p>\n
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