70 Crappy (however sensible) Christmas Gifts for Hikers |

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70 Crappy (however sensible) Christmas Gifts for Hikers |


(Note: This 12 months’s checklist comprises a lot of your outdated favourites, together with 20 new additions. I understand that December 24 could be very late for a Christmas present put up, however what the hey, this text has by no means actually been concerning the pressies. Happy Christmas to everybody, and should your festive season be filled with peace, marvel, and a minimum of two or three stomach laughs. Cheers, Cam). 

In the 12 years since its launch, the most well-liked articles on The Hiking Life haven’t been about outside expertise, backpacking gear, or journey studies from far-flung locales. Nope, they’ve been about crappy hiker presents that you may decide up for lower than 5 {dollars}.

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From Walmart with Love.

Therefore, after a three-year hiatus, I’ve determined to mud off the festive season favorite and provides my thrifty readership extra of what they appear to like. Without additional ado, if cash’s tighter than a hairpin flip however for some inexplicable motive, you are feeling a way of obligation to offer your hiker buddies one thing, think about the next 70 present concepts for beneath $5 $10.

1.  A Box of Ziplocs – Pretty a lot everybody takes Ziplocs (or equivalents) backpacking. But let’s be trustworthy, nothing says, “I don’t give a shit about you” like plastic baggage for Christmas.

2.  Trail Patches – Ideal present for hikers that need everybody to know that they’ve thru-hiked the Appalachian or Pacific Crest Trail however aren’t fairly able to take the calf tattoo plunge.

3.  Socks – For lower than $10, you could have to go artificial and even cotton. No Merino Wool or any of these different fancy blends. If attainable, attempt to make your selection seasonal-appropriate. You know those with little Christmas bushes and snowmen on them……..perhaps some reindeer as nicely.

4.  Dental Floss – In addition to serving to to maintain your enamel clear, uber-strong dental floss can be utilized as thread for gear repairs within the discipline, an emergency alternative for a damaged shoelace, and even a makeshift clothesline beneath your shelter at night time.

5.  Bandana –  You can typically discover these multi-purpose gems on the backside of outside retailer cut price bins. Potential makes use of embody: towel, water filter, neck safety, pot cleaner, tent drier, pee rag for she-hikers, hanky, makeshift gaiters, helpful to put on in your face throughout sand storms, and useful in case you are low on funds and resolve to rob a comfort retailer.

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Bandana………..7-Eleven mode.

6. Hacky Sacks (set of 6)– I’ve a number of hippy hiker mates that love these little baggage. At simply over $3 every they symbolize wonderful worth, weigh solely a few ounces, take up nearly no house in your pack, and may make for a enjoyable diversion throughout lengthy days on path. With each third set bought, patrons will obtain a complimentary eBook copy of The Gentle Art of Bong and Pipe Making.

7.  Toilet Paper – If they aren’t too choosy with reference to softness/high quality, $10 value of lavatory roll can probably final the giftee all of a multi-month thru-hike…………a minimum of when supplemented with the stuff they may pinch from inns, eating places, gasoline stations, and classier public restrooms.

8. Titan (or Voile) Straps – Used to carry collectively two trekking poles when pitching mid-style shelters in probably stormy situations. I used this strong setup throughout my latest journey to the Faroes/Greenland/Lapland (see picture under).

MLD Duomid, Arctic Circle Trail, Greenland.

9.  Crazy/Super Glue – Useful for sleeping mat repairs, small holes in tents, and at a pinch, even cuts and blisters.

10.  Tent Pegs – If you need to go fancy, for a $10er you may most likely decide up a number of titanium stakes. Alternatively, you should buy six to eight of the Army Disposal Store selection.

11.  Plastic Disposable Kitchen Gloves – You can buy 100-count packs (or extra) of those for a music on Amazon. They can be utilized as a part of a layering system to your arms when climbing in extraordinarily chilly and moist situations. For particulars, see “How to Keep Your Hands Warm While Winter Backpacking.”

plastic disposable gloves

12.  Baking Soda – Another wonderful multi-purpose merchandise that extra hikers ought to find out about. Uses embody toothpaste, deodorant substitute, cleansing pots and drink bottles, antacid for upset stomachs, and helps to take away foot odour from footwear. In addition, baking soda assists in relieving itching related to insect bites, bee stings, and poison ivy/oak.

12. Head Net – Weighs solely an oz. or two and could be a sanity saver in the course of the top of bug season. Indeed, when the midges, mozzies, or sandflies are swarming, I’m unsure there’s a higher value-for-money merchandise in a single’s backpacking equipment.

13.  $10 Goodwill Gift card – Polyester Hawaiian-style shirts, solar attire, saggy shorts, 100wt fleece – the checklist of cut price basement hiker choices are virtually limitless. Avoid socks, underwear, and bandanas. There’s low cost, and there’s simply plain cheesy.

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Tatu Jo – Legendary long-distance hiker and long-time connoisseur of thrift retailer climbing shirts (picture courtesy of Whitney LaRuffa).

14.  Hand Sanitizer – I haven’t had a case of the trots within the “backcountry” (so to talk) since 1999. I believe that the diligent use of hand sanitizer is a part of the rationale. I at all times preserve a small bottle useful in one of many shoulder strap pockets on my backpack (together with sunscreen and lip balm).

15.  Folgers Classic Decaf Instant – None of that fancy Via stuff from Starbucks. The indisputable fact that it’s decaf leaves the giftee in little doubt as to how you actually really feel about them.

16.  Simpsons Bic Lighters – Customised Bic lighters that includes characters and scenes from The Simpsons. While cooking up a feast at day’s finish, these little flame throwers are positive to convey a smile to your fellow hiker’s dials. And bear in mind…….

17.  Six-Pack of Ramen – A culinary staple for backpackers. If you actually need to make an effort, choose singles with quite a lot of flavours.

18.  Tyvek Groundsheet – This may truly price you nothing if yow will discover a bit in a building website dumpster. Customize the scale for the giftee. It’s the little issues that rely.

19.  Reconstituted Talenti Ice Cream Container – A much-loved mainstay of the cold-soaking crowd.  The Talenti container sports activities a large mouth, a screw-top lid, and naturally, the not-to-be-scoffed-at bonus of a (semi)tasty pint of ice cream.

20.  Diaper Pins – This one is courtesy of long-time subscriber Gerry B, who wrote that “old-fashioned diaper pins are much larger and stronger than standard safety pins, and I keep a couple hooked to my packs for drying socks or other pieces of clothing.

21. Dr. Bronner’s Soap: Handy travel-sized selection pack. Weight-conscious hikers can repackage into mini-dropper bottles (see under). Not solely are they reasonably priced and sensible, however gifting Dr.Bronner’s is a none-too-subtle approach of claiming, “mate, you really need to work on your hygiene.”

22.  Mini Dropper Bottles (2 Pack) – For virtually twenty years, I’ve repackaged my hand sanitizer and Aquamira in these tiny bottles for all of my backcountry journeys.

23.  Trash Compactor BagWhen bought in packets of 10 or 20, these infants often work out to between $1 and $2 a pop. It puzzles me as to why anybody would spend $40 plus for a dyneema pack liner, when a trash compactor bag weighs about the identical (a tiny bit heavier) and performs simply as nicely for a fraction of the worth.

24. Zipper Cleaner – Keeping tent zippers clear charges simply behind laundering your sleeping bag on the checklist of issues hikers are susceptible to overlook on the finish of an extended backpacking season. Zipper upkeep is particularly necessary if a lot of your climbing is completed in coastal or desert environments (Tip: Always be light with zippers; by no means pressure a caught zipper).

25.  Condoms – In addition to the plain, the outdated Johnny bag will also be used as an emergency water holder (as much as 2 liters) in case one in every of your bottles develops a leak. They additionally come in useful as a water-proof cowl to your telephone throughout river crossings. It’s even attainable to make use of the contact display screen via the latex – helpful for secure sexting.

Whether you’re sexting or fording a difficult river, if it’s not on, it’s not on.

26.  Bag Balm – Bag Balm now is available in sensible travel-sized 1/4 oz tubes. Not solely does these items works wonders on thigh and bum chafe, but it surely additionally turns out to be useful in case you are overcome by the urge to exploit a cow whereas out on path (i.e. Which was its authentic goal when developed again in 1899).

27.  Titanium Sewing Scissors – I’ve a few gram weenie hiker mates who love these items. They tip the scales at solely 0.3 oz, and in the event you add the mini-tweezers from the Swiss Army Classic, you will have a gossamer weight combo (0.4 oz), which ought to cowl nearly your whole restore and tick removing wants whereas out within the discipline.

28. 3M Micropore Tape – Breathable paper medical tape. Adheres nicely. I’ve used it for years as a substitute of band-aids and different adhesive strips.

29.  Ibuprofen – Vitamin “I”. A hurting hiker’s greatest pal. Can be discovered in lots of (if not most) hikers’ First-Aid kits. Forget concerning the identify manufacturers resembling Advil and go generic. For $10 you may often decide up a 100-count bottle at most main supermarkets.

30.  Backcountry Bidet / Reconstituted Sports Drink Bottle (600ml) – Cheap and multi-purpose. You can decide one up at any petrol/gasoline station. Look for bottles with a flip-cap spout. Show you care by together with the next directions and warnings on an accompanying Post-it observe:

A. Be positive to fill the bottle to the highest earlier than use, as roughly solely the primary 200 ml are squirtable;

B. Short, sharp squeezes fired at an upward angle of 45° work greatest, and;

C. Pro Tip: Don’t put the spout too near your freckle, as accidents can occur, and there’s nothing worse than discovering poo floaties in your consuming water over the course of the climbing day.

A sports activities drink bottle and 4 squares of TP are all you want to your morning constitutional.

31. Bleach – Forget about these fancy filters and chlorine dioxide drops. Bleach tastes horrible and might not be very efficient combatting giardia and crypto, however what the hey, for $10 you should buy sufficient to final you a few thru-hikes after which put your financial savings in the direction of a course of Fasigyn.

32Inflatable Pillow / Wine field bladder – The redneck’s backcountry pillow. For bogan bonus factors and a surefire thumper of a headache the next day, pack in a full field and drink all of it on the primary night time of your journey.

33. Safety Sunglasses – Lots of various choices. Go for one that gives good UV safety. You can typically decide them up for round $10 a pair on-line or at {hardware} shops.

34.  Electrolyte Tablets – Especially useful when climbing in scorching temperatures and/or for folk that often undergo from muscle cramps.

35. Ultralight Backpackin’ Tips – More than a decade after it was printed, Mike Clelland’s Ultralight Backpackin’ Tips nonetheless charges as one of the informative and entertaining books on the best way to lighten your pack weight.

36. Make America Great Again cap – Practical and crappy. In regards to the previous high quality, the hat’s brim helps to maintain the solar’s damaging rays off your face. As for the crappy half…….nicely………..

37.  Hand Rake (Set of two) – Speaking of the porn-star-hushing, document-squirreling, disinfectant-boosting, tax-avoiding, NFT-hawking, election-denying, riot-fanning, wannabee-Greenland-purchasing, former Commander Bankrupt In Chief, one in every of Trumpy’s most memorable recommendations was to comply with Finland’s instance in serving to to maintain America’s “forests floors clean.” Hikers can do their half by selecting up a pair of those light-weight leaf scoopers for his or her subsequent backcountry tour. They weigh beneath 12 oz a pair and are simple to strap onto the again of your pack when not in use. With each second pair bought, patrons will obtain both a “Rake America Great Again” or “I Love Finland” bumper sticker.

Leaf scoopers/hand rakes are an incredible possibility for both the yard or your subsequent backpacking journey.

Want to go the additional mile in forest hearth prevention? This Finnish woman exhibits us how by taking good care of the forest flooring close to her house.

37. Beer Koozie – Multi-purpose merchandise. Emergency mitten, storage to your DSLR lenses, paw protector in case your canine steps on a cactus, and helps to maintain that post-hike beer that you just left in your automobile refreshingly lukewarm. Earn gram weenie bonus factors by buying it from one in every of your favourite ultralight cottage gear corporations.

38.  Therm-a-rest Z-Lite Seat Pad  – When your outdated Z-Lite has gone flatter than gander’s arch, lob off a few segments and present them to a climbing buddy looking for a bit extra back-country consolation throughout their noon breaks. Alternatively, large spenders can splash out on a new Z-Seat Pad and share the posterior love amongst three of their hiker buddies.

39.  Frogg Toggs / DriDucks Rain Pants – The full Frog Toggs go well with will price round $22. However, whereas the jacket could also be a useful possibility for a lot of three-season backpacking excursions, the pants (est. worth $0.10) are about as sturdy as a pair of Altras on something however manicured trails. Irrespective of the surroundings, chances are high you’ll blow out the crotch, bottom, or rip a gap in one of many legs inside a few days of leaving the trailhead.

Frog Toggs pants within the discipline (picture from BWCA.com).

40.  Mylar Blanket (Pack of 10) – A cut price at lower than a greenback a pop. In addition to being utilized in emergencies, house blankets will also be employed as a light-weight floor sheet, signaling mirror, and makeshift tarp.

41 Baskin & Robbins Pink Spoon –  If you order a sundae at Baskin & Robbins, it comes with a semi-durable, difficult-to-lose, long-handled pink plastic spoon. I used one in every of these for 2000 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail in 2012.

42.  The Fellowship of the Ring – This is the primary a part of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, and for my cash, one of the best thru-hiking story ever written. You can usually decide up a used copy for lower than a fiver on Amazon. Basically, it’s the story of a various bunch of men who went out for a multi-month stroll, acquired as much as plenty of memorable adventures, met some cool path angels, took some zero days, had some variations of opinion with reference to route choice, cut up into separate teams, stood by one another when instances have been powerful, completed their journeys at completely different termini, and, lastly, met up for celebratory post-hike beers on a discipline referred to as Cormallen at journey’s finish.

The boys from the Fellowship with the Misty Mountains within the background.

43.  John Muir’s Works – You can decide up both a paperback or Kindle model of “The Yosemite” and “My First Summer in the Sierra” for lower than $5 on Amazon. More than three many years after first studying Muir’s works as a teen, he stays one in every of my favorite wilderness writers.

44.  Tenacious Tape – An improve from duct tape for out-in-the-field gear repairs to your tent, rain jacket, or wind shirt

45.  Mini Dice – This one is courtesy of my pal, Liz “Snorkel” Thomas, backpacking sage, writer, and Queen of Urban Thru-hiking. According to Snorks, “five mini-dice weigh in at grams and provide hours of entertainment for hikers trapped in a tent or shelter on a rainy or snowy day. Good for Yahtzee, Farkel, and anything else you can make up.” A 100-pack will set you again $5.

46.  PeakFinder App – This advice is from my outdated mate, Paul Magnanti (Pmags). While climbing in Colorado’s Sangre de Cristo vary in 2016, Mags blew me away when he began randomly rattling off the names and altitudes of each mountain within reach. Just once I thought he was taking the piss, he confirmed me the PeakFinder app on his telephone ($3.99 as of 2022). To use the app, merely level the digital camera at your mountain of selection, and a panoramic drawing will overlay the picture and offer you all of the related particulars. It at present has data on greater than 950,000 peaks world wide (Note: Other helpful apps for hikers embody PlantNet (free, easy, quick, and correct plant identifications), SkySafari (simple to make use of astronomy information to the night time sky), and Knots 3D (take a wild guess).

PeakFinder App (picture from peakfinder.org).

47. Nan Shepherd’s “The Living Mountain”: Shepherd was a Scottish poet and nationalist who’s commemorated on the nation’s five-pound observe. “The Living Mountain” is Shepherd’s superbly written testomony to the thrill and wonders of strolling in nature, particularly in her beloved Cairngorm mountains.

48Dehydrated Cocktails – Perfect for hip flask-carrying backpackers that need to lengthen hiker midnight previous 9 pm. Flavor choices embody Mango Margarita, Mint Mojito, and Blood Orange Mai Tai.

49. Personalized Revenge Voodoo Doll – When sharing somebody’s path combine has left you with a debilitating case of the trots, otherwise you picked up a bit greater than you bargained for throughout a wild night time at Trail Days, present your self one in every of these personalised light-weight dolls (3.2 oz / pins included). Sure they price a bit over $10, but it surely’s onerous to place a value on an excellent dose of path revenge.

Personalized Revenge Voodoo Doll

50. Backpacking Skills/Educational Books – Much of the backpacking recommendation you see on YouTube is 90 p.c tip and 10 p.c iceberg. For of us simply stepping into the game, I extremely advocate selecting up a handful of traditional hiking-related texts, which can complement the time you spend out within the boonies in serving to to construct your backcountry ability set and information base.

51The backside half of a Platypus bladder – When your platy bladder is discoloured, more and more brittle, and the seam on the prime has ruptured, minimize it in half and regift the underside half to an ultralight hiker pal. They can then use it to scoop water from filthy puddles when climbing in pink rock nation or alternatively make use of it as a poor man’s consuming vessel.

52. Plastic Shower Curtain – Forget about fancy supplies resembling Dyneema Composite Fabrics (DCF); the legendary Grandma Gatewood used a plastic bathe curtain for rain safety when she grew to become the primary lady to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail in 1955. In doing so, she might have inadvertently turn out to be the originator of the Poncho Tarp.

The legendary Grandma Gatewood.

53. Spam satchels – America’s favourite thriller meat. Inexpensive, long-lasting, and full of fats and protein, (in idea) spam looks like it will be an excellent possibility for calorie-loading long-distance hikers. Until you truly style it. I throw up a bit in my mouth simply excited about it.

54.  Mack’s Silicone Ear Plugs – Anti-snoring answer. According to their promo spiel, Mack’s “have been saving marriages since 1962.” Vital for anybody pondering of going from hut to hut within the Alps or climbing the Appalachian Trail in the course of the common season (Note: As a bonus, I can personally attest that Mack’s silicone plugs work nice within the pool as nicely, for these of us which are susceptible to swimmer’s ear infections).

55Beano Ultra When your climbing accomplice is overdoing it on the dehydrated beans, and his or her farts would make a skunk blush, provide them some Beano Ultra to chop issues off on the pass.

56. Croakies (or equal) – Useful present for noggin-perching sunglass wearers, resembling myself, that often scratch or lose sun shades out within the boonies.

57Smartwater bottle – Lightweight (1.3 oz), lengthy, slim, clean sides, and fairly sturdy, Smartwater is the consuming vessel of selection for a lot of weight-conscious backpackers.

58Spiky Massage BallLightweight and compact merchandise that helps to cut back muscle ache and stress within the toes, calves, hips, glutes, arms, and shoulders. For a bit more money, you may go for a lighter and extra environmentally pleasant cork possibility from Rawology.

59Handsfree Umbrella Clamp – Functional accent for umbrella customers (particularly those who wield trekking poles) that clips onto virtually any shoulder strap.

Greg “Malto” Gressel on a dampish hike in New York’s Adirondack mountains (2015).

60. Paper Coffee Filters – Cheap-as-chips merchandise that’s helpful for pre-filtering soiled or silty water.

61. Hotel/Spa Slippers – Tipping the scales at round 70 gr/2.5 oz, lodge slippers are an affordable, gentle, compact, and comfy camp shoe possibility. They are additionally superb for backcountry huts when it’s essential to depart your climbing footwear on the door.

62. Sponges – Featherweight, multi-purpose merchandise that can be utilized as a pot cleaner, condensation dryer, and, in the event you’re actually determined, to take in the final drops of water in a shallower-than-shallow pothole (Note: A straw can be a greater possibility for the final level).

63. Blaze Orange Vest (and hat) – Essential equipment when climbing throughout searching season in lots of locations within the US. In the phrases of PMags (seen within the picture under): “Wearing blaze orange is good for safety; hunters appreciate it, and it’s a respectful way of sharing the outdoors among all users.”

Yours really and Pmags throughout a 2014 journey within the Mount Evans Wilderness.

64. Foot File/Callus Remover – You can typically decide foot recordsdata up for beneath $10, however for one thing as necessary as your toes, I’d advocate spending a wee bit extra for a mannequin that’s going to do the job nicely and final for the lengthy haul. I purchased a Probelle a number of years again, and it’s nonetheless going robust.

65. Nikwax Down Wash –  For arguably essentially the most cherished (and infrequently the costliest) merchandise in a backpacker’s equipment, it surprises me what number of of us don’t take higher care of their sleeping bag/quilt. In a nutshell, laundering your bag or quilt annually will assist it last more and insulate extra successfully (Note: If you need to go the additional yard, purchase the giftee a number of tennis balls to help within the drying course of).

66. Lint –  Makes for an incredible emergency hearth starter. Empty the contents of your garments dryer’s lint catcher right into a tiny Ziploc bag. Throw in some additional lint out of your stomach button simply to offer the present a extra private contact.

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Belly lint extraction – Japanese model.

67. Packing Pod Pillow – I have a tendency to not use lots of stuff sacks once I hike, however during the last couple of years, I’ve periodically introduced alongside a few SMD packing pods. Apart from being useful for organizational functions, these brightly colored pods are additionally the proper measurement to make use of as a pillowcase, full of no matter clothes gadgets you’re not sleeping in.

68. 100 Wt Fleece – Durable, breathable, and moisture-resistant energetic put on. An wonderful value-for-money merchandise that (as a rule) has a spot in my backpacking equipment regardless of the surroundings or season. They’ll often price a bit over $10, however you may typically discover them on particular for beneath $20 or $30.

69. Mini Carabiners – Tips the dimensions at 0.1 oz/3 gr and can be utilized for guyline attachments, drying hooks, and hanging bear baggage. Poncho tarp customers can use them to make a fast transition from poncho to shelter mode when it’s raining.

70. Fanny Pack – Fanny packs are just like the fruitcakes of the backpacking world. They get lots of shit, however on the finish of the day, you’ve acquired to tip your cap to a utilitarian merchandise that merely refuses to go away. Speaking of one thing/one that’s unimaginable to kill…………..

*Disclosure: This put up comprises some affiliate hyperlinks, which implies ‘The Hiking Life’ receives a small (on this case, very, very small) fee if you are going to buy an merchandise after clicking on one of many hyperlinks. This comes at no extra price to the reader and helps to assist the web site in its persevering with aim to create high quality content material for backpackers and hikers. 

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